debbie downer

i'm debbie downer today...the day before a very historic election. I should be asleep since I have to be at work from 6 am to 8pm tomorrow but I'm DD. a coworker of mine passed away tuesday evening from sickle cell disease. she was an intelligent, positive and strong woman with a 7 year old daughter who was just as smart and very sweet. tonight was her viewing and tomorrow is the funeral. she was only 39 years old. I've been thinking about her and her husband of 10 years and how lost he looked on halloween...but i really got choked up when I saw her daughter today who was thanking people for coming to honor her mom...it broke my heart that this child lost her mom at such a young age. as always, a death makes those who are living face their own reality and causes a reorganizing of life's priorities. no matter how brief, these things become clear and honorable. I love my family and am realizing who i can count on as friends. I'm thankful for each day i wake up and am bogged down by mortgage payments, car payments, credit card and loan paymets...hey, I woke up. today i saw the most beautiful night sky and smelled the wet soil, drenched grass and dying leaves in the crisp winter air after a cold and turbulent rain. it was beautiful and allowed my heavy heart to release all of its sadness as i inhaled deeply and let the pain push out of my lungs, through my constricted throat and sad mouth out into the night air where it was lifted into the clear sky and mixed with the breeze of many ages, many lives, many heartaches and sorrows...like a filter cleaning out the negative, i inhaled deeply again and new life, positive thoughts, lightness and the hope of a positive change passed through my mouth, down my hungry throat, and into my deprived lungs...i received new fuel for my soul that life is very precious and I'm thankful to be here today experiencing these feelings and being able to write them down, to see them, to feel, and to know tomorrow at this time there will be something else that will shift to the top of my priorities and will be as appreciated as everything that was a priority for me today.